to her

i know it’s probably too late to write something like this. i just. don’t understand. how can you make me grieve for you twice?

i thought i was done with it this summer, when i finally learned how to be angry at you and still forgive you, but yesterday you handed me seven polaroids (all of you and me, of course) and suddenly i was looking at the remains of a friendship. i grieve anew.

where did we go so wrong? i still remember last year you felt like the center of my whole fucking world, the inexorable gravity that permeated every part of me. i laughed just for the joy of laughing with you. i was so happy, in a way i had never been before. you told me we were soulmates.

i thought we loved each other. when did you stop feeling that way?


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